


empty prayers

by tweedleboobsmcgee



Series: Strictly Angel Business [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-05-10
Packaged: 2018-01-24 02:30:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1588343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tweedleboobsmcgee/pseuds/tweedleboobsmcgee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam prays sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"What are you doing?"

"Shut up, Dean. I'm praying."

"Praying? To God?"

"No, to Luke Skywalker. _Yes_ , to God."

"Sissy."

"Go away, Dean."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Samantha."

\- -

_Dear God. If you're up there. Dean and dad say you aren't. I believe in you, though._

_I wanted to know if maybe you could send dad back before christmas this time? That would be cool. I don't really know. Dean would be happier. I think._

_Thanks. If you're listening._

 

_\- -_

 

"Sam?"

"Hey."

"Sorry, was I interrupting something?"

"Nah. Just."

"Praying?"

"Ruby."

"It's okay. I don't find it offending or anything. I'm just. You know, a demon. Praying isn't a huge part of my sunday mass."

"Sorry."

"It's fine."

"..."

"So."

" _Ruby_."

"Hey, sorry."

"No you aren't."

"Probably."

"..."

"What do you pray about-- _okay_ , okay, geez."

" _Thank_ you."

"..."

"Bu--"

"God-fucking-damnit, Ruby."

"Shutting up."

\- -

_Dear God. Or not, I guess. Would you be offended that I'm asking about a demon?_

_Probably. Ah, well. Here goes nothing, then._

_I hope you're not too angry. Don't want the judgement of heaven on us down here. So, yeah._

_I was hoping, maybe. Maybe you'll let me stay like this a little longer._

_Yeah, juggling Dean and Ruby are sort of a handful. Nah, they're like, an armful each._

_But I like it like this. If it's not asking for too much, I'd really like it too stay this way._

_I think I might like Ruby. The way I liked Jess. Not the same, but I do like her. A lot._

_So, if you think this is even the least bit okay, this would be cool._

 

_\- -_

 

"Yo, Sammy. Whatcha doin'? Get your ass over here and work on this case."

"Be quiet, Dean."

"...You praying again?"

"Dean."

"Huh. Who do you even pray to?"

"I send Satan psychic love letters. Shut up."

"No really, who? I mean, if you want to tell me."

"... It's alright."

"..."

"As of now, it's Cas."

"Cas."

"Yeah. I asked him some stuff. If he's okay, and whatnot. If he's winning."

"Oh."

"Yep."

\- -

_Dear Cas. I don't know if this works. But I'm doing this anyways. Apparently it works when Dean does it, trust me, I know he does._

_I hope things are going okay up there. Sorry for being so demanding about this stuff. It must be hard._

_Well, I hope you're safe. And doing good. Get back to us when you can._

_And take care of yourself._

 

_\- -_

 

"Now who is it?"

"Dean, I swear."

"No really, who?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

"..."

"Who?"

" _Dean!_ "

"Come on, Sammy. It can't be worse than like, Gabriel."

"..."

"Oh god."

"Dean,"

"You're _praying_ to _Gabriel_? Like, Trickster Gabriel? Mystery-Spot-Gabriel?!"

"Dean, shut up."

"Oh god, I'm never letting you live this down. What are you even _saying_ to him?"

"Shut up."

\- -

_Dear Gabriel._

_Yeah, yeah, I know. Be quiet. I can hear you laughing from wherever you are._

_Well, I thought you might want to know that Dean is being an asshole. And so are you._

_Fine. I missed you. Miss you. Are you coming back anytime soon? You should. We have candy._

 

_\- -_

 

"You think he's really dead?"

"Gabriel?"

"Yeah. I mean, he's pretended to be dead so many times. Makes you wonder what's real."

"..."

"...No."

"No?"

"No, I don't really think he's dead. Trickster, remember?"

"Right. But, Lucifer--"

"--Yeah, I know. But we don't know, for sure."

"Right."

\- -

_Dear Gabriel._

_I hear you're dead?  We didn't go back to check. Dean would have figured it's weird._

_Um, if you're still alive._

_Please don't be dead._

_I'm not desperate. Or anything._

_Okay, maybe I am a little._

_But if you aren't dead, um._

_Come back._

_Did I tell you I lov--_

_\- -_

"You know you scared the crap out of me."

"Hey. It's your fault."

"My fault, how?"

"You were going to say something really scary. The L-O-V-E word."

"Riiiight. You're the one who cut me off."

"It was.. alarming."

"It scared you that much? Enough to blow your witness protection and come here?"

"Yes, yes it did. Also, you sounded really, really edible. Spur of the moment. I'm bad at impulses, okay?

"..."

"Shut up."

"...Didn't say anything."

"So."

"So, what?"

"So, are you gonna say it?"

"Say what?"

"Oh, you are one sly dog."

"Uh-huh. And you aren't an ass?"

"Okay, fine. I concede. Now, you too."

"Hm."

"Come on."

"I still don't know what you want me to say, exactly."

"Dear Dad up in the attic, you are a cruel, cruel man and you play a hard game."

"Still waiting."

"..."

"Say it."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

" _Saaaaaaaaaaaam_."

"Gabe."

"Finish your sentence. Please? Pretty please? With a cherry on top."

"Um, which one?"

"You know which one. The one you were praying to me last?"

"Ohh, that. Well that was just, you know, idle thoughts."

"Idle, hmm?"

"That's right."

"Well, I'll have you know,"

"Know..?"

"Let a man talk."

"Alright, go on."

"That, as I was saying before I was so _rudely_ interrupted, I love you, too, Sasquatch. Almost -not really- as much as I love sugar."

"..."

"Well. Thanks."

"That's it, that's what I get? I just bared my heart and soul to you, Samuel Winchester, and you say, 'Well, thanks?'"

"Uh, yeah, that's what I think I said."

"You know what, that's it. C'mere."

 

\--

 

_Dear Gabriel._

_Did I tell you--I love you?_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> comes somewhere after Cas takes Sam's crazy.

_Dear Lucifer.  
_

_Wow, can you believe I'm praying to you?  
_ _Don't get hopeful. I'm just checking in. Can you hear me from the pit?_  
Just wanted to know if --  
 _Well, seeing as nobody even responds to these, I won't be able to tell either way._  
 _Dean is having.. issues. He always is._  
 _Not his fault, I guess._

_\- -_

_Dear Lucifer._

_I never really asked  about how it was up in heaven, y'know, before we came along._  
 _I guess it must have sucked. For your dad to do that._

_Wow, look at me. Sympathizing with Satan. I call that improvement._

_\- -_

_Dear Lucifer._

_I'm dead tired. Just hunted some gross things called Leviathans. Trust you've heard of them?  
Starting to miss you feathered guys. Never thought I'd say that._

_\- -_

  _Do you ever just hate it when people look at you like you're a bomb that's about to go off and hit people?_

_Like at any moment, like you're dangerous. Like you can't make a good choice._

_Like you can't be trusted._

_I hate it._

\- -

_Dear Lucifer._

_I guess you're not having too much fun down there._

_Is Adam okay? I haven't forgotten him. Don't hurt him. Please._  
 _I know we were only together for a little time... but given a little more, I think he could have been a big part of our family._  
 _Our family. Ha. It's small, and broken. But still good. (Though all our friends are dead.)_

_The thought of dying doesn't seem so scary. Just the part, well... you know? Dean? And his whole, 'I will sell my soul for your life' thing?_  
 _It's touching. But he's being selfish. It's because he doesn't want to be alone. Here._

_I guess I kind of understand him. Or at least where he's coming from.  
But sometimes you've just gotta move on, right?_

_\- -_

_This douchebag named Metatron is screwing everything up._

_Kevin is dead._

_Sometimes I still can't believe it. And it was me. My hands that burned the life out of him._

_I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry._

_\- -_

_Sometimes, I get tired of making mistakes. Always making the wrong choice. Even when I couldn't make a wrong choice, I made one._

_As a baby, with Azazel. It's my fault. My fault mom is dead. My fault dad started his hunting craze in the first place._

_It's my fault that Dean never really had time for other people. Well, people other than me._

_It's my fault that you came out of the Pit. Somehow, it's my fault._

_Why is it always me?_

_\- -_

_I like the bunker._

_It's huge. Lots of space, no tight quarters. Me and Dean chafe when we're to close._

_And books. Books are awesome. So many books. The historical aspect of the Men of Letters is pretty damn awesome._

_Do you like books? Probably, right?_

_If you ever get out again, I might even lend you one._

_If you're good._

_(We can watch Brother Bear too. That movie makes Dean cry. Though he tries to hide it.)_

_\- -_

_I hate angels._

_I hate everything.  
_

_This sucks._

_\- -_

_Dean exhausts me. He exhausts everybody. Even Cas._

_Though Cas seems like he's always exhausted, nowadays.  
_

_He's amazing, you know._

_He does so much for us, for Dean._

_I don't know how to thank him._

_\- -_

_Angels are douches._

_\- -_

"So you're telling me, the Devil is human."

"Yes."

"And he's here, of all places,"

"Uh, yeah, He can't seem to angel-apparate, seeing as he hasn't got any juice-"

"-And he's _here, why_?"

"I don't know!"

"What the hell, Sam?!"

"I don't know!"

"No seriously, what the hell?"

" _I don't know!_ "

"Cas! There you are. Where the hell have you been?! We got freaking Satan on our hands!"

"I was looking for Adam."

"Adam."

"Yes. You will be pleased to know that he is alive and well. However, I seem to be unable to find him. I presume Michael is with him."

"You're telling me Lucifer, Michael, and Adam are all out of the Pit and wandering around."

"Yes, Dean."

"Fuck me."

\- -

"Sam."

"Um. Lucifer. Hey,"

"It's much different, seeing you in person."

"You... you never showed up in my dreams, though."

"Sam."

"..."

"I heard you."

"Y-you heard me?"

"Did you think I wouldn't?"

"I... no."

"I did. Loud and clear."

"Oh."

"..."

"I'm sorry, Sam."

"That's a new one."

"I am. Forgive me?"

"..."

"Honestly?"

"Always."

"I don't know. I  don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you, because I know a lot about 'sorry' not cutting it."

"I know."

_I'll wait for you._

"But for now, behave."

_I'll wait forever._

"One toe out of line and we're not watching Brother Bear."

\- -

"I think I've found them, Dean."

"Huh? Found who."

" _Michael and Adam._ "

"Shit. Really? Why didn't you tell me earlier, Cas?!"

"I'm telling you now."

"Right. Sorry. Where are they?"

"They appear to be--"

\-- _ding._

"Sammy! Get your pansy ass down here, stat!" 

\- -

"Is Satan making out with my drunk brother?"

"I wouldn't call it--"

" _Is Satan making out with my drunk brother?"_

"I... Yes."

"Fuck. What the hell is wrong with us."

"I don't know."

"Right. An angel each, I guess. If Lucy still counts."

"..."

"So, since both my baby brothers are getting laid tonight, and I'm pretty drunk, you wanna--"

"Shut up and kiss me, Dean."

"Yessir."

_I love you._

\- -

"So, they've been getting along well."

"Careful, Sam. God said Adam and Eve, not Adam and Michael."

"Or Cas and Dean, for that matter. But I'm sure I can be persuaded to believe otherwise."

"Shuttup. You know what I mean."

"Are those your overprotective brother urges spiking up again? I don't think you should drink that."

"Too late."

"I can already tell your brain functions are slurring."

"You can't tell, you don't have the angel- angel stuff. Not anymore."

"True. But I don't need it to tell you aren't going to remember this tomorrow."

"..."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Sam. I may be the devil, but I don't take advantage of people when they're intoxicated."

"I wanna kiss you."

"..."

"Well, it's too late to be asking me, now."

"You liked it. Ima good kisser. I think."

"We'll talk about it in the morning, Sam. I think sleep is the appropriate action taken here."

"Kay."

"..."

"Loosi-Lucifer?"

"Yes, Sam?"

_I forgive you._

"Love you."

\- - 

_**End.** _


End file.
